"The Week that Was"
''This section is compiled from a combination of journal entries written by Tarrajna soon after these occurrences, and an un-sent letter composed after her departure from the organization.''
On Sunday, August 14th 2011, Tarrajna, Bill and Nick headed down to Purcellville from Detroit for a gathering of the "male caucus" as it was subsequently dubbed. This had arisen from a series of discussions between Nick, Tarrajna, Alicia, Sky, and others concerning the need to have regular discussions among the leadership, especially involving the candidates. It worked out for everyone's schedule to come for close to a week, so they were to join up with Summer and Alli, Dave and Riana (who was already there), and a few others, to discuss the campaigns, and hold a workshop with Jason on his Riemann work. While they were still on the road, they received a phone call to come straight to Windy Hill for a meeting with Lyn. When they showed up, everyone else had already arrived. Alicia, Sky, Leandra, Dave Christie, Riana, Leni and Phil were present, and a bit later on, Nancy Spannaus arrived.
The main focus of this meeting was the "end of the youth movement." The discussion had already began when they entered, and Lyn was in the middle of a back and forth with Dave Christie on the communist youth movement, making jokes about how they never wanted to grow up. This was the first full call that Lyn made to eradicate the distinction between the youth movement and the so-called "boomers". At a certain point towards the end of the meeting, Alicia asked him why we have to rely on certain "others" in intelligence circles to do things, since they suck and have been completely lacking in courage. Lyn's response struck Tarrajna as very strange. The whole meeting he had been speaking more quietly than she remembered from past times at the dinner table, so much so that she was getting very frustrated at being stuck in the back and having to strain just to hear him. She was also irked by how strangely he was talking with Alicia: he became even softer, seeming to have lost all awareness that there was anyone in the room but the two of them, and proceeded to have an intimate conversation with her, taking a very fatherly, "calma, calma" tone. At the time, Tarrajna thought her averse reaction to this exchange was due to some jealousy towards Alicia for being so close with Lyn, and at her own condition of being so far from the center and access to Lyn. She soon learned that it was not that at all. At the very end of the meeting, Lyn turned to Alicia and asked, "are you ready?" and then headed up to his study with Alicia in tow, which also struck Tarrajna as odd.
On Monday the 15th, a group of people met at the office to work through Riemann's Habilitation Dissertation. After a couple of hours Sky showed up and informed them that Lyn was upset and had apparently thought they would be working at the Hill. So they packed up and headed out for the Hill to finish the session there. However, when they arrived, Lyn apparently had something else in mind. They gathered in the living room, and Lyn proceeded to launch into an NEC-like discussion. What follows are direct quotes from Tarrajna's notes from that meeting:
"1) We're dealing with a quality of a military operation. 2) Never gossip: if you gossip, you"ll be caught in lies (in military affairs, gossip is a crime. Those who perpetrate it are titled as gossips and liars.) "Even leading parts of the organization here participate in this"There are a lot of liars in this organization who think that it is just innocent gossip. They cannot be trusted. "Innocent lying" that you may commit, called gossip, is a crime. Don't lie about anybody, or gossip about anybody. Cut it out" [I] picked up on some of it" The point is, we"re at war in a very real sense. [We"re] a few days away from being as good as dead, now Gossip: deal with instinctively: "where did you get that bullshit from, and why did you believe it?" Next time you catch yourself repeating gossip, kick yourself in the butt, and make it hurt, so you"ll remember it."
After his opening remarks, there were several questions put to him. Tarrajna found it especially disturbing that when she and others asked him a question, he hardly responded, whereas when Alicia asked a question, or merely commented upon something, Lyn turned his whole body in the chair to face her, and only addressed her, as if no one else were there.
That evening Tarrajna was feeling depressed, thinking that it was due to being left out of the decision-making process and central discussion of the organization. Liona texted her, asking if she wanted to talk. She walked over to the house and they headed out on a walk together. Not long into the talk, Liona brought up a visit that Lyn had just made down to the Basement, before she had left Windy Hill, a bit earlier in the evening, when she and Michael Kirsch were the only ones left there. She mentioned that Lyn had said some pretty strange things concerning his relationship with Helga. Soon after her mentioning this, Tarrajna said, "you mean, having to do with Alicia?" (or some mention of Alicia along those lines.) Liona was slightly surprised at her saying this, and took it as sufficient to go into a full recounting of the conversation that she and Michael had had with Lyn. The long and short of it was that he intended to marry Alicia, and was justifying this action to the two of them through a wild explanation of how he had stopped having sex after his heart surgery, how Helga had suspected him of being unfaithful while she was overseas in Germany, that they had split up, and since then had only had a "friendship." Liona said she was shocked that Lyn had been giving them details of his sex life and relationship with Helga. According to Liona, Michael had tried to argue with Lyn about this, challenging the idea of him marrying Alicia, and that he had only had a "friendship" with Helga since they knew him and earlier. Lyn was reportedly stubborn, and would not back down on his intent, nor on his justification. This was very shocking news to Tarrajna at the time of course, but not too surprising, given what she had observed, not just the night before, but in the "Dialogue of Generations" shows featuring Lyn and Alicia. Liona was at her wit's end, and they both agreed that it would be absolutely devastating to the organization if Lyn went through with it. They wondered if Lyn was mad. "How could he possibly do something like this? Does he not know what it would mean for everyone?" It came up that perhaps it was his fear of dying that was compelling him to cling to someone young for comfort. But no matter how they thought about it, it was still shocking and nothing could really be said to resolve the shock. Tarrajna told Liona that there was no way she could not tell this to Nick, but that she would not discuss it with anyone else. Lyn's tirade against gossip earlier that day made the whole situation all the more unsettling. Tarrajna had no doubt in her mind that Liona was telling the truth. It was too crazy to make up, and for what motive? Tarrajna soon recounted to Nick the entire conversation she had had with Liona. They were both stunned with the overwhelming feeling of being on the brink of the disintegration of the entire organization. They felt certain that this would soon be revealed to all, whether Alicia agreed with it or not (which neither of them were sure of) and that that would cause the breakdown of the organization. There was nothing they felt they could do at the moment but keep their mouths shut, and wait. They certainly were not going to tell anyone else. The next morning, Lyn reportedly cornered Liona and asked her not to repeat the previous nights" discussion to anyone. She contacted Nick, and repeated this message, insisting that he not tell Cody.
From here, it became very difficult for them to concentrate on anything.